"Jo hota hai Achhe ke liye hota hai" - "Whatever happens, happens for good!"
Sublime variations to the above can be: "Dont worry! Whatever shit has happened, its only because something better will happen later!"
AND THE AWARD FOR THE MOST PATHETIC SENSELESS BULLCRAP COWDUNG PISS-POOR STATEMENT OF THE DAY GOES TO....(see above). What hell does this mean anyway - whatever happens, happens for good? I would like to go to the widow of some Lance Nayak whom nobody has even heard of, who probably died by mistake in friendly fire, and tell this to her? Or how about going and telling this to the wife and children of a guy who just died in a car accident? Or maybe tell this to a husband whose wife is in the last stage of Breast cancer - imagine that? His wife is anyway not going to live for too long and plus her boobs would have to be amputated! Would evoke quite a response wouldnt it? I can kind of predict what kind of a reaction it would - they would gouge out your eyes with a wooden spoon and then shove it down your throat. Better yet, for developing a colossal brain fart and actually uttering such a stupid phrase, maybe you ought to just pull out your tongue and die.
In the recent past I have been the recepient of this phrase numerous times and I have to admit I too mumbled it to myself often and then finally something good happened. So suddenly it was almost like a validation to this abomination of a phrase - sort of like a testimonial. I too switched on into retarded mode and was greatly involved in preaching this fragment of excreta. But it was much later that I realised the apparent foolishness of it all. For say 6 years a guy is getting his balls roasted and his butt punctured and made to slide down a saw with a pencil shoved up his dick and all through he keeps hearing this load of crap and suddenly 6 years later, finally something good happens to him and BOOM! Suddenly every single Nostradamus is on his ass saying "see I told you so!". But for even a ghost of a testimonial to be rendered to this statement:
a) Actually something good has to happen! If nothing good happens, the person just dies and the people probably go - "He was a bum anyway!".
2) The Incident in the Elevator
This has easily got to be the single most irritating, bewildering, amusing and a statement truly worthy of murder anyone has ever told me. A friend of mine and I were returning from lunch. For matters of convenience we shall refer to my friend as "Potty-mouth". So, as I was saying, Pottymouth and I were on our way back from lunch and reached the hostel. We were waiting for the elevator at the ground floor and when it arrived it was empty and we were the only 2 people who got on. As we were travelling up, suddenly the air became so foul that automatically my nose went into involuntary mode and forced an emergency shut down. If a decaying corpse farted after a 10 year diet of cabbage and radish, it would not have smelt this bad! I swear, this shit was so bad, the lift's alarm system almost went off. Later we came to know that about 6-7 people passed out on some of the floors that we passed on our way up. Now, at this point I just made a face almost as foul as the smell and started at him. Brainiac Pottymouth looks at me, makes a face as innocent as the Johnson & Johnson baby and says "It wasnt me!". This kind of a statement puts you into Brainfreeze! There are just 2 people in the elevator, and I know I didnt fart. So who did? Get Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Bromkesh Bakshi, Perry Mason in here! This is going to be a tough one. I dont know the sequence of events after that but I recall a lot of violence and me trying to shove my hand own his throat and trying to turn him inside out because such idiotic statements should be considered illegal.
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