Dark Knights!

The Einstein re-incarnates of the planet who brilliant might have deduced that this post could somehow have a reference to Batman will be disappointed. Infact, while Batman comes at night and destroys villians (and is a white guy to boot), these champion 'Dark Knights' attack in the day time and destroy people, systematically pulverizin perfectly capable brains into feeble submission with their supreme levels of idiocy, retardation and incessant drivel. Heard the expression Tall, Dark and Handsome? Well these shitfaces are neither tall nor handsome but they do have the darkness factor in abundant levels. So, in essence, this is about the slobbering ramblings of disfunctional brainstems and not about the adventures of caped crusaders. Without further delay.....

One of the biggest problems of an MBA programme is the number of presentations that you have to tolerate, endure and suffer through from your colleagues. While you are mentally prepared for this to an extent, you assume that the nonsense factor would stay within acceptable limits. This faith was put to the most gruelling of tests in my last class. For a presentation that was supposed to last 20 minutes, any living thing with an iota of common sense would try and keep the number of slides to under 25-30. But our hero of the day, the mental midget in question, had no such taste for common sense or intelligence. This defective braincell decides an appropriate number of slides somewhere between 60-65, meaning he gets 3 times as much time and opportunity to spray his diarrhoea into the air in class.

While my usual deviating tangential mind had drifted into oblivion thinking about why a carnivorous hippo from West Bengal would be with a Midas re-incarnate bucktooth from the Kerala Tamilnadu border or Vijay Mallya confusing his latest business decisions between 'brash eccentric billionaire' and 'lunacy' or the sheer incompetence of some of the people in my class that amazes me that they are able to find the way out of their hostel rooms, when I was suddenly brought down to earth by the faggotiest of voices - A voice so gay, it was would have been selected on first go for dubbing for the entire Brokeback Mountain cast - so gay that Karan Johar would be Amitabh Bachchan compared to this. The monotonous monstrosity of gay-power continued for over 50 minutes during which 3 students passed out, 2 girls suddenly got their periods in the middle of their cycle, one student tried to jump out of the window but unfortunately the grill wouldnt let him, so he tried repeatedly and ended up being shitfaced by the end of it (not sure if it was from the banging against the grill or the presentation), 2 male students displayed symptoms of PMS and I suddenly felt that the Hindu Gods just didnt have enough temples for Yama.

I just want to scream out to this unfortunate misguided soul - Your parents didnt intend to have you! Your mother wasted a perfectly good birth on you! You have a face only a mother could love!

GOD! Such unfortunate people should be kept out of public view!!

Numero Uno

There comes a time when a man has got to stand up and say "Friends, Romans, Cuntry Men......I find it extremely difficult to sit quiet and be thought a fool. So I have decided to express myself and dispell all doubts!". There comes a time when a man has got to say "Arise, Awake and stop not till you have taken a shit!" - A time when a man knows that his moment of glory is here - the very purpose of his existence has been realised. That time is now and I have decided to unleash my filth on the net.

The Case of the K-9 - The Bitch with the Bitch
Right off the bat - Im a cat person. Right off the bat - I cant keep my mouth shut. Right off the bat - I blabber. Throw in a girl with a dog into the above "Right off the bats" and Voila! - Entertainment. There was a bitch in my college and I thought she was kinda cute. This bitch had a bitch - and the second bitch was certainly NOT cute. Anyway, she used to proudly put on display her German terrier. Misplaced pride if you ask me. This pooch could easily have been confused for a rug. It looked like a bunch of pubes put together. It resembled an oversized rat from hell. You know what you get when you cross a Bulldog with a Shitzu? You get Bullshit! Thats what this God damn thing was. I obviously could not express my honest opinion about the dog in full honesty to her. So when I did get a chance alone with her, I put on the pussy-hat and went 'cho chweeet' on the dog. The repulsive sorry excuse for a living thing started wiggling around. It took me a while to figure out which was the front, just to make sure I didnt end up fingering its ass. It is at this moment the pussy-hat came off and the idiot cap went on. I turn and ask her "Cute guy. So how old is the mutt?" This has the same effervescent effect that a drop of Hydrochloric acid has on a carbonate salt. The bitch - the girl began to maul me in a way that mangy sorry excuse for a dog never could. I then tried to convince her that calling her 'baby' a mutt was actually a compliment, which landed me in further trouble. This time the other bitch got into the action too and tried to hump my knee-cap. Finally, both the bitches threw me out of the room and I had to once again introduce Ryan Jr. to my right hand.
Sometimes I dont know who are worse - dogs or people.